Conversion | Sacrament of Reconciliation

I have been wanting to write this for a while now.
I not sure how to go about, yes I feel that way even as I write.

Our conversion to Catholicism has raised some interesting lunch talks.
At the moment it is a sensitive topic amongst our family.
(Our family is Christian but Non Catholic)
I couldn't give you their part.
We love them and they love us, for now that's what we all need!

I guess some of the popular questions are:
Do you believe in Jesus?
What about the Trinity?
You guys still believe that Jesus died for our sins, right?
Mary!!! But Catholics worship Mary!!!
Do you?

Yep Catholics believe in Jesus and that He died for our sins.
And yes to the Trinity.

Yes we honor Mary, worship, no.
She had a huge part to play.
She raised Jesus.
Given that He became fully Man.
She was His Mother.
I am a Mother.
Its not easy to bring up a little bub, then toddler, then teenager, then young adult and then to bear witness to His death. 
A painful one. 

More on Conversion

When we became Catholic, we had to join a group called the RCIA | Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, like catechism for grown ups. You have to attend this class for a year, after Easter all the way through till the next Easter mass. 

Here you learn about the Catholic Church; the historical church (all the good and bad stuff), the modern church,the pope and the Petrine seat, confession, lent, advent, the liturgy of the Catholic church (one of the main reasons of our conversion), the mass, Mary, The Saints and why we pray to them, The Nicene Creed, the Lords Prayer, The Eucharist and loads more.

Lent is a special time for us new converts, at the beginning of the season we get presented to the Bishop as the Elect and our names are entered into a book. (This happens ALL over the world on the same day). Before we left our Parish our Priest performed the Blessing of the Senses Ceremony.
Here we were presented to our church community and some of them stand around us;
they make the the sign of the cross on our:
Eyes - to be able to see the cross/gospel of Christ in the World
Ears - to be able to hear the cross/gospel of Christ in the World
Lips - to have the courage to speak the cross/ gospel of Christ to the World
Shoulders - to carry the cross with Christ in this World
Hands - to take and be the gospel to this World
Feet - to go with the Gospel.
So it was a beautiful thing that happened to Jacques and I.
All of those words were so beautiful to me and still are.

The Catholic Church has sacraments and one of them is the Sacrament of Reconciliation, in other words Confession. So for a Non Catholic its a life time of Sin! However given that I was baptized when I was 17, only 15 years then of confession!!!
STILL.
It was daunting and I had spent a fair amount of time arguing with God, telling Him that I thought I had dealt with this and that and now I have to bring it all up again!!! And that I did not need my Parish Priest judging me on things that God had already spoken to me about and disciplined me. Yep and you know what, I sat down, meditated, went through the Beatitudes, the Seven Deadly sins, my life, my heart; for two weeks and even up until the point before I walked into the confession booth I was scratching into my book sins that just came up and out and things that I did not think were anything at all at the time of doing them.

I went in and said to Father Jonathan "I don't know what the right words are, I don't even understand why I have to confess to you." I put myself out there, I said I have no idea what to say and what to start of with, handed him my scratchy writing, (yes I even sat in RIGHT in front of him, you are supposed to kneel behind the screen, yes just like in the movies)! He said that God has forgiven me and that for Penance I should burn my sins, he didn't even look at my writing. He ended off by quoting Matthew 18:18, “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

I understand now.
But Still.

"Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and I will be healed" 
- said during Mass before the Eucharist is taken, based on Matthew 8:8.

Love and Light