At Home Education | What it was and how it is now

(This is a personal account of my life, it is by no means intended to convert the reader to home education. If it does...then YAY!!!)

Our choice to Home Educate our kids started in 2009.

Although in all honesty, it was part of my fairytale that I wanted when I was a young 'un.

Right in the beginning of our marriage we got rid of our TV and filled our time with books, games, dogs and movies. Then we graduated to babies, books, games, dogs, toys, laundry, paint, puzzles, poop and the best...LEGO! A life saver!

I've never really had my mind set on specific curriculums and activities.

Neither did I want to fill my boys lives with stuff, I also knew that I did not want them to live out Jacques or I's perfect childhood.

Our pre marriage counselor told us to forget what we know from our growing up and make our own new ways, even if its a different way of cooking rice. So like all good couples we put that into practice and we applied it to  e v e r y t h i n g, well at least when we could. 

But the key was to NOT say, "this is the way my Dad did it," or "in my family..."

Ages 0 - 3

With our Kids we played and we let them play.

We didn't care about a mess, things got cleaned up at night before bath time and still do.

Paint, books, toys, making stuff and walks were made available to them.

We created an environment for them to discover.

2008

We are very blessed to live on our family's self storage business plot.

It is a few acres and in between the units are gardens, veld and open spaces for the boys to have a childhood that is less restrictive as kids living in a complex. 

2008

2008

As a family we read a lot, we have read aloud to both our boys since they were in my womb. I am not sure what research shows, but our kids have a love for books like I never did. 

2008

2008

We moved to South Korea at the end of July of 2009.

Joshy was going to turn 4 that October, and the one day he said to me "I want to read books like you and daddy!" (he sounded way cuter than you can imagine). So I jumped on that bandwagon and started making up my own sheets for him and encouraging forcing him to read and to really do well at it.

He started reading before his 5th Birthday.

2009

It was good, but the process was  n o t!

I didn't realise what I was doing to him, and most importantly, what I was do to our relationship.

He had completed his Pr K at the end of 2010. 

(South African school years run January to Decemeber)

I had pushed him so hard that when we assessed him at the end of 2010, he was ready for Grade 1!!!

I was so excited and so PROUD of him myself!

When I look back, 2010 to 2012 was horrible school years for us, his mind was brilliant, but I sucked as a mommy!

My boy was struggling emotionally and I had no idea how to go back and  j u s t  be his mommy.

Elijah was still little and he was still on Playdough and puzzles. 

I carried on like this until 2012ish.

2010

I prayed about it and didn't know what to do, eventually I just gave up in the middle of 2012.

PLEASE NOTE: The schooling was horrible, not life, so I threw my hands and beat my chest about SCHOOL! 

Life was good beautiful. You can read about it here, here, and here.

I am a perfectionist and had the same expectations from my children.

2012

In the December of 2012 I read this book, For The Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay. 

We were also in the process of converting, so everything became spiritual and related to God. 

This book really changed my heart and I thought it was going to change the way I homeschool.

Instead homeschooling became unschooling.

I wrote down my reasons for not sending the Boys to school:

• To have Love

• To love God

• To have a genuine Love of learning

I prayed over these and stuck them under a picture of Mary cradling The Infant Jesus.

I handed them to Christ and asked Him to guide my heart as He guides my children. I asked, and continue to ask, for the obedient heart of Mary.

2014

There's Joy again, there's laughing at mistakes.

There's hair pulling.

Joshy got his spark back, that spark that was so often in his eye before we started structured learning.

He was confident again!!!

He was my brave boy once again!

2014

My boys are self learners.

Two years ago Lijie, who is now 8, couldn't make sense of words, now he is on Book 2 of Harry Potter (formal reading) and has read a minimum of 100 books. ALL BY HIMSELF!!!

not me just HIM!

The stuff they know is all them! 

2015

Our type of schooling is comfortable at the moment.

It isn't stressful, until someone asks, "what grade are they in?"

Or, "what do you do to socialise them?" 

To which I'd like to answer, "Nothing, they're raised in captivity!" 

But that's rude.

2015

Sometimes they're bored, sometimes they're not, sometimes they have to have a good go at each other and sometimes we allow that!

I can only be happy to be their mommy now, every now and then I mess up and expect things to run my way and in my time, but I remember how I hated being that person.

I want them to know LOVE and JOY unspeakable!

For now they are At Home Kids, who believe they have the capacity and potential to be anything and do everything. If they like they could start a career tomorrow or whenever. Life has the potential to surprise us, so I want my boys to embrace that. There's opportunity for them and for their hearts. I want them to do things that matter and help in making a better world. 

Learning has no boundaries for them, even if its high school math, or planting a veggie patch.

To more FUN!

to patience

to guidance

to locking myself in the bathroom

to prolonged grocery shopping trips

to screaming like a banshie

to long drawn out confessions 

to wanting to swing a belt or breaking a mug

to LOVE and letting it Win!!!

Love and Light

Unschooled and Homeschooled Kids Equal Socially AWARE Human Beings

Kids are playing, running around and squealing with joy.

Mommies are chatting and sipping on tea and having a good old time.

(you notice from the corner of your eye, YOUR kids are HIGH in a tree, encouraging the smaller folk to join...you quickly pretend to be..er.. otherwise, shake your head and sip sip sip sip)

Mommies are chatting about...darn it...schools!

Here goes.

"So where do yours go?"

Of course you're ALWAYS the last to answer.

"My Kids? Oh, we homeschool."

And then you brace yourself for 

The Ultimate Question...

"What about Socialising Your Kids?" (hand to mouth)

ahem...

M Y  K I D S  A R E  P L A Y I N G   W I T H  Y O U R  K I D S  !!!

And aren't I here?

At the same play date that you are at??

(ok thats what I say in my head)

But really?

Redundant question right?!?

I answer in the polite way and then

Problem solved...right?!?

No, its not.

Then they continue to ask...

"So, what about extra curricular...? they can make friends there, right?"

Socialising during a Jiu Jitsu lesson?!?

That's not going to happen!

I think the coach will make them drop and give him 50.

When there are other kids around my "at home" children play, chat...ahh, socialise with them.

I don't have an issue with the question, or rather, the assumption, that "at home" children are

less socialised - because let's face it, I question and assume a whole lot of stuff.

But in the mean time.

My "at home" boys are in fact awesome, and I might be biased, but ...

I'm going to go with it.

I watch them everyday share a part of themselves and that is beautiful.

These boys have helped plant a veggie garden to feed people less fortunate than us.

They've also been helping at a shelter for the past 3 years.

They might not speak a second language...(yet).

But the language of their hearts inspires me to give more of ME.
In the end its about the quality of relationships that you have with others that form you.
In the very beginning it was just CS Lewis and his brother.
Thomas Merton often had only his Dad.
Missionary kids, back in the day, had local villagers.
Frederick Buechner.
Leonardo da Vinci.
EE Cummings and I am sure you'll be able to add to that list.

I believe a deepness exists in all children.

This, I feel, is just the beginning of, GOD WILLING, awesome adults.

Love and Light

ps. I know that there are beautiful schools in South Africa sharing with local communities giving of themselves. This blog is NOT intended to discredit Schools, but only to credit that which must be credited.

Tuesday, is our day at the Shelter, and Teacher Kim did long and short!

Experimenting with the boys | Educating myself

Today I'm linking up with a super sweet crafty Mama, Mel from Needle & Nest Design, for Monday Mamalogues...but its Tuesday!

Our kids have never been in a formal 8 - 2 school setting.
So we have two little boys that don't understand the concept of standing in line and they shout out answers at Catechism. Yep those are my kids!

Forest Walk | Year 2 of Homeschooling

We started our homeschooling journey when Joshy asked to read, he was 4, so by the time he was 5 he was reading beautifully. This is when the dictatorship started, actually military school started. I was just awful, all I wanted from this little boy was perfection, everything he did HAD to be perfect.
Eventually I looked at my 2 boys and saw that these were not kids anymore, they were little computers, spurting everything out that I had programmed in.
I had got this thing all wrong.

Year One

I prayed, and this may sound silly, but I asked God for forgiveness. I fasted and prayed for direction.

"Look well at the child on your knee. In whatever condition you find him, look with reverence. We can only love ad serve and be his friend. We cannot own him. He is not ours." - Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, For the Children's Sake.

For now we don't do a strict curriculum, and we don't have a time table, and we don't do 2 pages of math everyday.

Mistakes are welcome, it helps the Boys grow, it helps me grow.
My boys learn by me working on their strengths and their abilities.
We focus on "self development", just to better understand the bigger world we are part of.

Year 2 of Homeschooling

Just Being

We play, we eat, we make, we climb trees, go on adventure walks, we talk, we look up info on what we want to learn, we go to the Library, we help at a local Baby Shelter once a week, we plant gardens, and sometimes make a food pack for the lady that digs in our rubbish. The boys write letters to each other, well Lijie draws. They have more of a heart now for books than when we did formal learning.

I'm not sure if this will be the way we learn for all time, but I do know that they are learning and experiencing life.

It may sound like I am promoting Homeschooling or even Unschooling, but this is what works for my boys, for now. They have not been in school for me to dislike the schooling system, neither have they been bullied.

I also think that my boys have 2 parents that LOVE each other, LOVE them and LOVE God; and that is some good grounding for any form of schooling.

Painting without brushes | Year 4 Unschooling

Making their own Toys

Sewing

Sidewalk Math | Year 1 Homeschool

A bit of Both | Homeschool & Unschooling

Helping Dad | Unschooling

This is an awesome read...

Love & Light

Summer Vacation & Things that occupy This Heart

I was supposed to be getting better at this.

Blogging often.

Writing my thoughts down about  my Journey.

Photographing more.

Being diligent.

I can be these things.

Its just that time has been passing by.

In it every moment is within it.

I cannot tell you how much Joy I have.

How filled I feel at the moment.
I only have this Joy, because I am so
aware of how broken I am.
I am aware of the deep desire I have for
Jesus to put me together.
Piece by Piece.

I cannot capture it in one moment.

In one smile.

In one creative moment.
In a burst of Laughter.
A shout or scream from the trampoline.

One moment of holding their hands.
The other guiding their hearts while they guide mine.

One might think I give them too much time.

But I only have, for a while, their entire hearts in mine.

To make them feel like they are the only things in this world;

while we make

sew

potter

paint

venture

write

play

read

Live

My family


On another note:
I have been reading, For the Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay.
It's really been a blessing to stumble upon this book and and just be stretched and moved to Live with my children. (Yes I said Live...it can get that bad)
Honestly it's not easy being a mommy. Sure as anything its not easy being a child.
I sometimes wish it was always as easy as peanut butter and jam sandwiches.
Yes the little song before this paragraph sounds like a dream,
BUT lets be honest, you cannot appreciate your dreams, if you have never had a nightmare.
The thing is, I have not found myself praying and leaning on God this much in my life, EVER!
If being a parent were easy, then I would be far from Him.
And for that I am greatful.

These captures are from the Irene Dairy Farm, Centurion.
If ever you go,
take a walk
giggle
let a calf lick you
eat a freshly baked scone with clotted cream (no pictures...my hands were all sticky from the jam)
hold hands with your man

Love & Light

Part of

Happenings

Its been a while since my last blog, and for someone who complains that their readership is low, its silly! So honestly, its me to blame.

A few things have been happening in my life and I'm not sure if I have the captures (photos) to capture these honest situations.

Happening One:
Recently my Jacques and myself decided that we found a home in Catholicism.
Not sure if you know this about us but we both met at a Theological seminary twelve years ago.
Yep!

I was brought up as an honest baptist girl.
My Dad, having been put through Bible school and very involved in various outreach ministries, is finding this hard to come to terms with. He still loves me though.
And so are other family members.

Honestly, I want to try and write more about my conversion.
The way I feel.
The way my heart skips a beat when I hear
"Glory be to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now and forever shall be.
World Without End."
The reverence that comes into my body, mind, soul and heart when I kneel before the Blessed Sacrament.
The deep respect I have for Mary, Mother of Jesus.
A quick note:
My love and adoration of Mary began when my Systematic Theology lecturer at Baptist College, D. Morcorm, presented her to us as "Theotokos" greek for God Carrier, 11 years ago.
More about Mary later.

Jacques and I have always taken our relationship with God beautifully; He really is knitted into our marriage and our friendship and our relationship with the Boys.
By no means am I saying that we have perfected our relationship with Him.
I mean that because we Love God and desire to know Him, to relate to Him, to draw nearer to him;
we have allowed ourselves to fall completely at His risk.

I may not be making sense, but in my heart it does.
I trust that my Life is in His hands and that He will carry me through this.

I'm not sure how you feel, or if you even understand why people would treat us differently, but I would appreciate that you comment on it.

Happening Two:
South Africans begin their new school year in January, actually most schools opened last Monday.
My Boys are homeschooled, two out of the 100 000 homeschoolers in South Africa, so only a small amount of kids being taught at home, here in ZA.

We all have a different reasons for choosing the way our children are educated.
Not sure what mine are right now, but I love them, I want them to learn all the time, and I want them to learn differently; because they are different.

This year Josh, 7, goes into Grade 3, by South African Law, it is an assessment year.
Timetables, assessments, reports and specific pages have to be submitted...
More pressure!
Funny enough, I thought that this would be the year that I would be more of a parent with him and not militant (I can be that way, I'm working through my issues, believe me its hard!).
But you know what...
I'm going to do it, this year, more fun, less pages, I'm thinking about ONLY doing the assessment pages
*Ha! shhhh don't tell!

Lijie, I'm just going to see where he ends up on a day to day basis.
He struggles with auditory processing, and remembering verbal information directly given to him.
Just so you don't get me wrong, the boy knows EVERYTHING that we teach Josh; his stuff ehh let's say he kinda gets it.
(*sigh* much patience is needed with this little number.)

Choosing a curriculum; Christian based, Country based, age appropriate or just winging it because they are your kids...its not easy.

As a homeschool Mommy, I feel like I'm always been looked at, ok, judged, for what I do or don't do. As a family we have chosen a specific way to live, and yes it changes all the time, because we grow and learn all the time, we adapt or we choose not too, in whatever way we feel. However, I'm a woman and not sure about you, but most of the time I just feel judged.

(I know I'm rambling but this is the way my mind is right now)

Happening Three:
So I want to do something.
Start something.
Sew for an income.
I'm not good yet.
But this girl can make BAGS!!
I know!
And craft a few other things.
But I want to make it a Home business.
I have decided on a name and some products.
I have to start making these things and book a table at a craft show soon.
BUT...
I'm going to have to give myself some time.

So any advice would be much appreciated.

And for now, I'm just going to give you 3 Happenings.

Lijies $1 dollar find at the SPCA shop

A go at a hand painted canvas for market totes

Celebrating St Nicholas Day with cousins

Jesse Tree, only got as far as David!  

Packing Boxes for our babies at the Shelter

She is not a dog, she is our sister and is very much treated that way!

Thanks for lending me your time, eyes and heart!

Love and Light